Friday, 24 September 2010

Mirror Image

Sometimes things are not as they appear. Sometimes we are not as we appear to ourselves.

I had to have some photos taken for an ID card that needed updating for some voluntary work. I went to one of those digital photo booths where you put your coins in and sit and smile at yourself in a mirror until you are (relatively) happy with how you look. I was offered a choice of 3 shots - but, none of them looked like me. More to the point, none of them looked the way I had seen myself in the mirror. The images were reversed.

That's when I realised - what we see in the mirror is always the opposite way round to how other people see us. What we are seeing isn't real. It's an illusion.

Have you ever listened to your own voice on a voicemail message? Mine doesn't sound like me at all - at least not the way I hear my voice inside my head.

So how much of what we perceive about ourselves is real? If what we see and what we hear can't be relied upon, what can? Our beliefs about who we are or who we are not? What we can and what we can't do?

This is great news for those of us who spend too much time judging ourselves, doubting ourselves - maybe we've got it all wrong. Maybe our own judgment is the complete opposite of what others see and hear.

Take time to answer these questions:

  1. What complimentary things do other people say about you that you find hard to believe?
  2. If you knew that other people saw more in you than you do yourself, what would you do differently ?
  3. If you knew that other people heard more wisdom in what you say than you do, what would that mean to you ?
  4. If you knew that other people felt more confidence in you than you do yourself, what's the first thing you would do ?

How do you do this EFT thing - 2?

Basically, you tap a sequence of points on your body while focusing on what is troubling you.  Here's a diagram of the basic points.

The sequence is: 
Eyebrow, Outside of eye, Under eye, Under nose, Above chin, Collar bone, Under arm, Thumb, Index finger, Middle finger, Little finger.

Then there is the Gamut point (the x on the diagram) - I'll explain more about this later.

First - know what's troubling you.
  • Describe it clearly and precisely in a few words (I'll give some examples later).
  • Guess on a scale of 0-10 how strongly troubled you are feeling.  0 is not at all, 10 is very much so.

Second - the Set Up statement.
  • "Even though I feel this [whatever my trouble is], I'm OK."  Say this to yourself 3 times while tapping on the karate point (the black spot shown above on the side edge of your hand).
 Third - the Routine
  • Make a "reminder phrase" - "that awful day", "this anger", "this nervousness"
  • Tap about 7 times on each of the basic points in the sequence while saying your reminder phrase (out loud or silently). 
  • Tap on the Gamut point while you do this little extra routine - shut your eyes tight, open them wide, circle them one way round, circle them the other way round, hum a few notes of a tune (Happy birthday to you maybe), count to 5, hum a few more notes of your tune.
  • Do it again - tap all the basic points in the sequence saying the reminder phrase.
Fourth - measure how you feel now
  • on a scale of 0-10, how do you feel now?
  • is there any difference?
  • keep going until you get down to a zero.
As simple as that.  It works.  And even if you don't believe it will work, it works.  So it's worth giving it a try.

The question is, what is troubling you that you'd like to tap away?